Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Espcape the Quagmire? Yes, I want to believe...

Anit-depressants. Can't live with-'em. Can't live without -'em. I've come to learn the full impact of this scenerio while I taper off of the dangerous anti-depressant I was prescribed by my ex-doctor.

This blog post is dedicated to helping those who find themselves adrift at sea as I once did and sometimes currently do from day to day during the periods I raise anchor.

Know that you are not alone. You are never alone. We are here, drifting apart, but drifting together. Let's throw lines out to each other and pull each other together. Let's build a web of safety lines and save as many of us as we can. We are here.

We are here. We may be adrift, together or apart, but we all can float. Believe that you can float and I will do the same.

Believing you can float while you are adrift is the first step. Practice. Are you there? Float. Float with me. Take a deep breath. I know it hurts down very deep. I know you can feel it too. Deep breath. Hold it. Pause (or paws, hee-hee).

***Caution....only read the following statement if you are less than 50% engineer. Otherwise you may find yourself in an infinite quagmire. If you are greater than or equal to 50% engineer, please have a friend nearby to
a) Punch you in the face if you can't snap out of it,
b) Dial 911 if you become completely unresponsive for more than 5 minutes.
And now, back to our regularly scheduled quagmire...***
Close your eyes, (but just for a quick moment so you can then return to reading my blog post for further instructions ;).

Hmm, this is a real can I get you to open your eyes for futhur instructions, with out you opening your eyes to read that you are now to open your eyes. It is a quagmire inside the quagmire....that kind of stuff used to scare the living shit out of me....but that's more about fear so we will have to cover that topic soon. Perhaps after you've opened your eyes. But for now, I'm just going to assume you have opened your eyes and removed yourself from your very own, personal, infinite quagmire. You have? Good. Now let's continue.~~

Okay, eyes wide shut then? Good, let us continue.

Go ahead and open your eyes and slowly exhale. On the exhale, try to let go of your hurt. This is your experience so try not to judge it, just let go as honestly and completely as you can in this moment. Did you do it? You did? Good! That is excellent, I assure you. Now repeat this effort a few more times, let's say 5 more times if you need set figures. If you are more into "winging" it, just repeat until you are ready to move on.

Once you have accepted the floating and breathing state, it is time to move on to gliding. This is the fun part. The mental gymnastics. Gliding is much the same as floating but with just a bit more purpose. Gliding is floating with movement. I find that I am a big proponent of movement. I think I prefer moving forward in space and time based on the awareness of my own perceived personal experience, but given a different perspective I may be persuaded to change direction if my intuitions convince me of the merit of that decision. Regardless of the direction, however, I believe adding movement to my state of awareness offers its own profound rewards.

So as my daughter and I righteously co-discovered earlier this week:
When being extreme...
  ~~go slow,
  ~~and make contact...

I suppose gliding could be considered floating to the Xtreme. ~or~
  gliding = floating++;

So now is as good a time as any to tackle the concept of gliding, I suppose. To glide, you have to let go of a little bit of fear. Letting go of a little bit of fear will help you gain a tiny bit of momentum. So, let's attempt put this hypothesis into practical human behavior.

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Happy Meals ~~ Try This at Home ;-)

You are boss. And I mean that in a sort of Bruce Springsteen type of way. Like, "Boss". Think "bad is good" type action.

When you find yourself in a sticky situation, be it at home with the kiddos, or out and about doing the day to, carpooling, commuting, working out, working it ~~ how do you get in your zone? How do you blow your own mind and that of the people around you? You give back! And I mean that in a "baby got back ~~ Fergilicious", (yeah, yeah)  mindset. You make your own movie everyday with yourself and with those around you. So who are you going to star as?

Personally, I see a lot of heroes. Super heroes. All shapes and sizes and colors of stars. So hop up on that catwalk with everyone elses'  big, bad self and get busy. Strut. Smile. Fist bump. Trip. Laugh. Recover. Collide. Offer an outstretched hand. Applaud and be applauded for. (eek ~~ sorry Diana)* Risk it all to mingle the beauty that is you. You may just feel a flicker or it may all come pouring out, but if you touch someone's heart, even if it is just with a feather of a tickle, who knows what beauty may erupt.

Remember Misfit Moms' battlecry: fucule.

Fucule = fierce + cute + cool. (think: ballsy, badass, of a feminine nature)

Strive to be the one who brings out the best in you. You know who it is because you have seen them in your mind's eye. Dig and dig and tap into that courage that will ignite the spark that brings you back to life. You remember ~~

It starts with a "P"

and ends with



Monday, May 30, 2016

You Rock!!!!

You rock!

Most Moms I know don't let that message sink in quite enough these days, that's why I blew up the exclamation points in my subject line of this post. 

But we can, and we do, ...rock, that is to say. And we have to, too; because Motherhood is a battlefield fought on the front lines everyday in this country. Every guided decision we make and action we take, we hope to keep our babies safe and our homes in tact. It is and has always seemed to me like the toughest role I will ever play in life. And much, much more so because the lives we lead are becoming more isolated. The front lines of our battle field pretty much now begin with a virtual window rather than the solid earth under our feet. With technology crashing in like waves all around us, we are swept up and set adrift. 

My daughter is now 7, and I feel like I have been island hoping for the majority of her life. But it is time for me to drop an anchor. I am new to this, but I am finding my way on this strange and foreign terrain. The natives here are what has persuaded me to stay. When you are kind and friendly to them, they are welcoming, accepting, and loving...even familiar at times. So I have decided to stay and build my own army. Lucky for me, there is no shortage of talent for this endeavor. Everyday that I venture away from my home base, I encounter the smiling, good-natured creatures of this foreign place. They accept me, and guide me and give me reasons to laugh and smile in turn. They give me fuel to sustain me and keep the fires brightly lit at home. They light my world and for that I am eternally grateful. And my friends, they are YOU!

Thank you for being there. For being a part of my life. For being the unsung heroes of my journey as a mother, a wife, a friend, and a lover of really cheesy, and over the top expression of my gratitude!

Now come on out and let's rock the socks off of Motherhood!!!!!

Our battle cry is "fucule": Fierce + Cute + Cool.

Monday, March 14, 2016

When someone forgets what day it is and asks "what day is it?", you may think you understand them, what they are asking, how they are feeling, what they are thinking, but you don't. You have no idea of how far off you are with your interpretation of these little events. Their motivation, their reaction. The interaction is purely one sided, or two sided, but not really a true collaboration. 

So what then determines who we be? Is it our thoughts, our words, our actions, our feelings, our perspective? Who are you? I really want to know...are those lyrics..."the who", right?

Aaanywho....I am writing at 6:30am before my Monday morning class while I sip what is left of my coffee. When is the last time I did that.

 Action, (boxed check mark here).

Words....none one around.....just the ones I'm currently writing....

Thoughts..... (yes, boxed check mark here). Hahahahaha, I finally "get" that joke and I think it is funny.

Feelings....milder, (boxed check mark here)

P.S. - file under thoughts....add "mood" to "who we are" in definition of "us".

Perspective. Changing, morphing, transforming, shifting in and out. frightening, exciting, The basis for all of our reality. Exciting.